Dear Beer Garden,
I love you. I hate you. I want to break up. You are just too much work and too much worry. I have a family that needs me and I can’t give you all of my attention right now. You are too needy, too draining, and may I repeat, too much work. We have to break up. I have to let you go and let the alumni figure out how to get their own adult beverages. I just can’t handle you anymore. You simply aren’t worth it. It was fun while it lasted, but now, it’s over. Goodbye. I will miss you.